Plan B
by 0Anonymo0
Summary: Really, it should've been expected. Even the prophesied savior of the world can't do much in the way of survival when he's born on the same day that a giant fox monster starts rampaging through his village. Stuck without any other options, the Yondaime is forced to seal the Nine-Tails into someone else, shattering destiny in the process.
1. The Yondaime's Last Resort

Everything related to Naruto is owned by Kishimoto, the man who somehow hasn't run out of sharks to jump.

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><p><strong>Chapter One: The Yondaime's Last Resort<strong>

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><p>Minato Namikaze was having a pretty good day.<p>

"Push!"

"HAAAAAAA!"

The Village Hidden in the Leaves was thriving more than ever before under his watch, the paperwork had been mild, and he was about to become a father to boot!

"Push!"

"GRRRRAAAAAA! GOD! THIS IS YOUR FAULT, MINATOOOO!"

Holding the seal in place was surprisingly easy. All he had to do was place a few fingers here and there for as long as this supposed 'all-consuming pain' lasted. And to think that a few gentle taps on his wife's stomach could hold back the most powerful demon in existence.

Then again, sealing arts in general weren't something to sneeze at, especially the Uzumaki variety. The clan of red-heads his wife originated from really knew their stuff, most likely surpassing the rest of the Elemental Nations put together by a considerable margin. Too bad most of them were dead.

At least Kushina had been able to leave just before her clan got wiped out. Not that he didn't feel bad for her, but Minato couldn't deny that her convenient escape from that massacre eventually led to the happiest years of his life. He was sure she loved him as much as he did her.

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! YOU HEAR ME!? I WILL RIP OUT YOUR-"

Whatever it was that his beloved was about to say, it was cut off by a sudden jerk inside her belly. It must've felt terrible. Kushina was usually so strong when it came to this kind of stuff.

Good. His eardrums needed a break.

Giving her a dashing smile, one that he knew Kushina would've usually made fun of for highlighting his more feminine features, the Yondaime Hokage of the Hidden Leaf made an opening between two of the fingers covering his face. He only needed one hand for the seal, which was convenient, because otherwise he would've needed to use his headband like Kakashi, and it would be a cold day in hell before he started mimicking his student instead of it being the other way around. Then again, maybe he didn't need to cover his eyes at all?

"DON'T GIVE ME THAT _FUCKING_ SMILE!"

Never mind. He definitely didn't want to know what was going on down there.

"You're the one who wanted a kid, remember?" Minato said, absently trailing his index finger around the seal on her belly, tightening it's hold on the power it had trapped inside. It wasn't _his_ fault this was happening. Months of wanting to 'take the next step' and this was how she reacted right when they were about to do it?

He was joking, of course, and Kushina knew the chipper tone he liked to use when doing so, but all her humor had left her at that point. She didn't say anything, instead focusing on having her child and getting it over with already.

Biwako, Kishina's midwife and wife to his predecessor, had no such restrictions. "Stop running your mouth, Minato-kun. I'd like to see you try your hand at childbirth."

The mere thought of it made the Hokage grimace. "No thanks. I think I'll leave that to you gals."

Just then, Minato's trained ears picked up a sharp thud from outside.

Now, that shouldn't of been anything to worry about. After all, he had made sure that the birth of his son was done in a secret location, inside a cave, away from the village, with several ANBU squads surrounding and guarding the entrance, which was filled with traps of all kinds that would make even the most elite ninja flinch, which were themselves only the second line of defense, right after one of the strongest barrier techniques he knew. Even then, such an inconsequential sound could've been anything, from a wild animal to one of the ANBU being less careful than they should be. But he didn't become Hokage without a healthy amount of paranoia, so even with all that, Minato decided to play it safe.

He made sure that the seal was stable enough for him to step away for a few moments, and turned away. "I'm gonna go check that out," the Hokage said, as he was sure he wasn't the only one to hear the noise. "Be right back."

The blond walked over to the entrance of the cave, and it didn't take long for him to notice that all the elite black-ops ninja he had set up there were dead, even with their bodies hidden in the shadows. Without missing a beat, Minato turned around and was met with the sight of Biwako laying on the ground, a kunai buried into her skull, and an empty bed where his wife was not a minute before.

_How?_ After all the weeks of preparation, all the defensive lines he'd assembled had somehow been breached. Whoever was behind this had even gotten past _him_. It was almost like the culprit popped inside, taken Kushina, and popped right out.

He considered using the Hirashin seal placed on Kushina, but decided to save it and catch whoever was behind all of this off guard. Instead, Minato sought out the overbearing energy that everyone for kilometers upon kilometers away could surely feel, and teleported to the perimeter seal nearest to that location. An instant later, he found himself in a forest clearing, his wife trembling in the arms of the enemy, a kunai held against her neck.

The man wore a simple black hood, with a mask that covered his entire face, save for his right eye. All in all, it hid nearly everything about his identity.

"Yondaime..." The man's voice was deep, but it didn't sound all that natural. It was probably artificial, an attempt to intimidate others. "I expected this to be harder than it was, but you gave me more time than I could've asked for. You _were_ always too careful for your own good."

Minato thought he heard a sliver of amusement at the end there, but it didn't matter. "You sound like you know me, but I don't think I've ever met you. The mask isn't really helping, either."

Even as he said this, the Hokage scanned the man for weapons. It was hard to spot anything under that robe, but he could make out some faint bumps along his arms. Probably chains, god knows he's had his fair share of them, considering who he was married to. Despite this, he would have to be ready for anything. Kushina was trying to be calm, he knew, but she was going through labor, not to mention whatever this man had done to her in the short amount of time she'd been held captive. His family was on the line. The next few seconds were crucial.

"I don't think you'd like to see what's behind this-"

Minato didn't let him finish, and teleported to the Hirashin seal placed on his wife. To his credit, the masked man immediately jumped back, letting go of Kushina in the process. The blond caught his red-headed partner before she could fall to the ground, holding one of his infamous tri-pronged kunai at the ready. Kushina was shaking, her teeth clenched in pain and fatigue.

"M-Minato... The Nine-Tails... H-H-He..."

She didn't need to say anything more. Even at a glance, the sealing master could tell that Kushina wasn't a Jinchuuriki anymore. The extraction must've taken its toll on her, if the pale white skin she had meant anything.

_The Nine-Tails gone, a mysterious enemy, Biwako and all the ANBU dead, and to top it all off, Kushina's still in labor and could die at any moment. God really fucked me today, huh?_

It took all of his mental fortification to not break under all the pressure, but Minato was Hokage for a reason. First thing's first, it was time to take his wife somewhere safe. All he had to do was focus on the Hirashin seal he had at a safe house not far from the village.

At that moment, a callous voice reached his ear. "About to make your escape, right?"

Minato immediately jumped away, Kushina in his arms, his training being almost overridden by the complete bafflement that overtook him. He had been sure that the masked man was in front of him when he closed his eyes for the half second it would take to flash to his safe house. The man's presence didn't move either, it just... disappeared and reappeared right behind him.

It seemed that he wasn't the only ninja around who could teleport. That explained how he had gotten past all of Minato's defenses. It also threw his plans of getting Kushina to a secure location out the window. He didn't know what kind of space-time technique this was, and for all he knew the man could reach him anywhere on a whim. There was nothing for it, then. He had to fight.

Minato lay Kushina on the ground and ran at the man with his own formidable speed, his kunai set to rip through the man's throat. The man also readied a blade, about to throw it, but it was already too late. He'd be dead before he could do anything.

But, when the Kage stabbed his weapon into his enemy's neck, the masked man didn't die. His kunai phased right through, as if the man wasn't there at all.

_What!? _

In his surprise at seeing something he previously thought was impossible, Minato stumbled forward. It was barely a step, an infinitely small moment of hesitation as his body passed through his opponent's.

That was all the masked man needed.

The mysterious assailant released his hold on his own kunai, and it cut the air in a flash. The sharp sound of steel sailing the winds seemed to fill the otherwise silent clearing, and the following thump brought everything else to a screeching halt.

Minato felt it, or rather, he stopped feeling it. That overpowering presence that was her chakra. Her ragged breath. Her desperate support. Gone.

And his son...

The Hokage of Konoha turned, and he saw his wife, her wide eyes staring back at him, and the kunai that had stabbed through her stomach.

And then, he was the angriest he'd ever been in his entire life. Quick as a whip, he threw a Hirashin kunai at the back of the man's head, only to see it phase through. It was a good thing he had been expecting that.

Just as his signature weapon came out the other side, Minato flashed to it, appearing right in front of the masked face of the person he'd just swore to kill, and with all his rage, all his earth-shattering, soul-consuming fury, proceeded to slap the shit out of him. The attack didn't do as much as a good old punch would've, and only snapped the guy's head back, but it did the job.

The masked man, not having expected that, could only pause for a brief second. It passed though, and he knew that it would be best if he left as soon as possible. "Sorry to cut things short, but I've got an appointment. The Leaf won't destroy itself, after all."

With that, reality warped around the mask's empty eye-hole, sucking in the man and taking him away.

Minato kneeled on the ground, slumped over. To think that just a few minutes before, he had been about to become a proud father. There was no reason to check for a pulse, because he knew. He knew that everything he had was just taken away from him.

His eyes hardened. _Not everything._ The masked man talked about destroying the Leaf. After extracting the Nine-Tails, it didn't take a genius to put two and two together. Soon enough, the world's most powerful beast would be rampaging through _his_ village, killing _his_ people.

There was no way he'd let that happen, not after all of this.

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><p>Hiruzen Sarutobi knew for a fact that this day would be considered the worst in the history of the Hidden Leaf. Never had an enemy made it past the village gates, much less a tailed beast, and <em>much<em> much less the strongest one of them all.

It had been a worrisome enough day to begin with, what with Kushina on the brink of giving birth, but the previous Hokage had convinced himself that everything would turn out alright. Minato had prepared so many safety measures that he found it hard to believe something would go wrong. Even when an unexplainable feeling of dread rattled him to his very core, he had passed it off as his well-trained paranoia.

When the Nine-Tails itself appeared in the village, already destroying every building in sight and killing civilians and ninja alike by the dozens, Hiruzen couldn't deny that something horrible had happened. He could only hope that Minato, Kishina, and most importantly his wife Biwako were still alive.

There wasn't any time to worry, though. With the Yondaime most likely busy dealing with whatever had caused this catastrophe, it was up to the retired Sandaime to protect the Hidden Leaf to the best of his ability. Strapping on his ninja gear, Hiruzen rushed out of his home.

"Sarutobi-sama."

Hiruzen grunted out a greeting to the ANBU Commander, not even flinching at how the man appeared from the shadows as he jumped from roof to roof, intent on taking on the Nine-Tails head-to-head. The coordinator of the Leaf's black-ops forces wore a plain white mask to cover his face, with no distinguishing animal traits as was tradition. He was missing the red robe he usually wore over his ANBU clothing, though Hiruzen couldn't blame him for wanting to be as free of restrictions as possible.

"Commander. What is the state of the squads sent to guard the Hokage and his wife?" Hiruzen asked, wanting to get a report as fast as possible. He could already see the giant form of the Nine-Tails in the distance, and he needed to get everything ready before he got there.

"Their tattoos have been disconnected. They are most likely deceased."

That made his heart lurch, but Hiruzen forced it down. "How goes the battle?"

There wasn't any hesitation in the commander's response. "The entire western district has been destroyed. I estimate a loss of 2,500 ninja and twice that amount of civilians. Our border barrier is still up and running perfectly, and according to the surviving witnesses, the Nine-Tails arrived in an explosion of smoke, raising the possibility of it being summoned into the village."

Out of everything Hiruzen could've possibly heard, that was the absolute worst. _Summoned!?_

"There is only one man I know of with the ability to summon the Nine-Tails," he said.

With the slightest inclination of his head, the ANBU Commander nodded. "I am aware. However, that man has not been sighted, and our sensors are too overwhelmed by the Nine-Tails' chakra to properly seek out foreign signatures."

"Then there is nothing for it," Hiruzen said, his face grim. "The Tailed Beast attacking our village must come first. Commander, order an evacuation of all civilians, along with any ninja under the age of adulthood."

"Sir?" The commander rarely questioned the orders of his Kage, but Hiruzen figured that willingly thinning their numbers even more would raise anyone's interests.

"We will make our stand, and we will fight, but we must make sure to protect the younger generations. The will of fire has to live on no matter what."

"Understood."

"Dismissed, commander."

"Roger. And Sarutobi-sama... good luck." With nothing else left to be said, the ANBU Commander leaped away.

The retired Hokage had to smile at that, even if it was only a small quirk of his lips. It wasn't every day that the terse and cold commander of the Leaf's black-ops division let himself worry for anyone, and it spoke volumes of their long history as fellow ninja that he did so at all.

The Nine-Tails was close now, barely forty meters away. If the killing intent emanating from it had been abnormally large from a distance, it was nothing less than suffocating from as close as he was. It was a surprise that not too many ninja had passed out from the sheer intensity of it, but Hiruzen supposed it was the will of fire at work once more, Leaf ninja putting the protection of their home before their fear of death. Or maybe it was the fear of death that allowed them to stay conscious.

A throng of ninja surrounded it, trying fruitlessly to corral it away from the retreating citizens with technique after technique. All around him, homes burned in great swathes of flame. The sound of continuous explosions filled his ears. It truly pained him to see the village he loved so much be reduced to a violent war zone, but the grieving could come later. When his eyes roamed around the battlefield, Hiruzen found the man he needed.

"Fugaku!"

The head of the Uchiha clan turned, his stern face showing only the barest hint of relief. Around him, the ninja who had been busy pumping the raging demon before them with as many long distance attacks as they could paused in their attacks when they saw who had arrived, but returned to their duty after a harsh look.

"Sarutobi," the man greeted, bowing his head slightly. "I'm glad we at least have the Sandaime with us. Where is our Hokage when we need him most?"

"Never mind that. Why haven't you or your family members taken control of the Nine-Tails with your Sharingan?"

The importance of the Uchiha Clan in the Hidden Leaf could not be overstated. Sure, they brought wealth and talented ninja to the village, but more importantly, without the Shodai Hokage's Wood Release, the Sharingan had become the only deterrent against the Nine-Tails in case it ever escaped its host. The destruction of half of the village spelled out a miscalculation of disastrous proportions.

Fugaku clicked his tongue. "We have a big problem, Sandaime. The Nine-Tails' control has already been taken ahold of. It seems that someone in my clan has decided to destroy the village."

Immediately, Hiruzen's eyes went to meet the Nine-Tails'. Squinting, he could barely make out the shape of a circular pupil surrounded by three tomoes that definitely shouldn't of been there.

Of course. It was stupid to think someone would summon something like the Nine-Tails without any way to control its actions. It was becoming more and more apparent who was behind all of this. But Hiruzen didn't want to believe it. If a man like _that_ still lived, then they were all in more danger than he could imagine.

As of now, all he could say for sure was that the culprit was most likely an Uchiha. That was as much as he was willing to admit to himself.

Beside him, Fugaku stood tense. It was to be expected, all things considered, but his tomoed eyes kept glancing at him, as if waiting for some kind of reprimand.

"It's alright, Fugaku. You and your clan's loyalty has been proven already by your actions here tonight. I'm sure this is the work of a lone traitor." _At least, I hope it is, _Hiruzen thought_. The only other explanation is much worse._

His assurances got no response from the man, as the Nine-Tails chose that moment to spin around, swishing it's tsunami-creating appendages around to blow apart an entire building complex.

"Whatever the case may be, our main priority right now is the Nine-Tails itself. Stay here, and keep hammering it! Even the smallest distraction could buy us enough time!"

After hearing an affirmative, Hiruzen roof-hopped away, trying to spot the one person he needed to organize a planned counterattack. It didn't take very long, as the majority of the Yamanaka clan had a very distinct look. Even better, the village's top tactician was there as well. Inoichi Yamanaka and Shikaku Nara turned to meet the Sandaime when he reached them, their sharp senses able to pick out his presence even among the chaos that was ensuing not thirty meters away.

"Hiruzen," Shikaku drawled out, his stance the picture of nonchalance despite the gigantic tail that flattened a nearby block. "It's about time. So, what are your orders?"

The previous Hokage looked up at the Nine-Tails, not even flinching when a whole platoon of ninja got blasted away by the sheer force of one of its roars. All around them, attacks of all kinds were being thrown at the beast. Fire balls, water bullets, windmill shuriken, big boulders... It was all getting thrown at it from everywhere.

"If we are to drive this beast away from our village, we will need to make a concentrated attack," he decided. "All these techniques coming at it every which way is just annoying it at the most, like a swarm of flies. If everyone can combine their power and hit it at the same time... It's the best shot we've got."

"I agree," the Nara said. "At least until someone can seal it back up. Hopefully our Hokage can hurry up with whatever he's doing, because anything we do can only delay the inevitable."

"Then we better give him as much time as we can. Inoichi! Connect me to every ninja still standing!"

The head of the Yamanaka clan nodded as Hiruzen kneeled down in front of him. After taking a deep breath while preparing his technique, Inoichi slapped the palm of his hand against Hiruzen's forehead.

**"Mind Body Transmission!"**

Without any special preparations, the amount of chakra necessary to spread the technique so far was incredibly taxing. Inoichi probably wouldn't be able to last more than a few minutes at the most. That was all Hiruzen needed.

_Ninja of the Leaf! I am Hiruzen Sarutobi, the Sandaime Hokage! Cease your assault at once!_

After the telepathic command, the constant barrage of attacks stopped almost simultaneously. Without anything to keep it occupied, the Nine-Tails continued demolishing everything in its path unopposed.

Seeing the worried looks of those around him, Hiruzen beat down his own unease before assuaging their fears.

_Don't worry! Most, if not all the residents of our village have been evacuated. The demon can tear down as many buildings as it wants as long as we defeat it in the end, and to do this, we must all work together!_

He could feel everyone's spirits rise with the thousands of shouts that followed, all full of the unbreakable tenacity he expected from all Leaf ninja.

_Now let's drive this thing back! Here's the plan..._

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><p>The masked man couldn't believe how smoothly everything had gone. The Nine-Tails was under his command and destroying the Leaf, it's previous container was dead and therefore it would be impossible to seal it back into her, <em>and<em> he got one over on the man who many considered to be the strongest ninja in the world.

_I think I'll get myself something nice after all this,_ he decided, looking over the chaos from a tree in the outskirts of the village, right behind the Hokage Monument. He'd stay there while the Leaf became an ash pile under him, call the Nine-Tails back, and leave. He already had a place in mind to teleport to. _Maybe a cinnamon bun, or the severed head of that jackass who bumped into me in Rain Country. Hmm..._

And then Minato Namikaze was in front of him, a spiraling sphere of death in his hand. He was honestly so surprised that he didn't get the chance to even try to activate his intangibility technique, and the Yondaime's attack grinded into his gut, tearing up his robe, shirt, skin, and insides, all in that order.

The technique then exploded, blasting him back in a spinning whirlwind that blew through at least six trees before slowing down enough to crash into one and cause it to splinter. Now breathing heavily, the masked man stood on a thick branch, leaning against the trunk of the seventh tree he had almost tore down with his flailing body. Standing on a branch a bit higher up than his was his assaulter, his blue eyes colder than ice.

"Damn it... I should've known it was too easy," the masked man said, looking down at his new injury. His belly was now covered with a spiraled gash that penetrated at least a full inch. _I suppose that the death of his wife and unborn son weren't enough to break him, _he thought. _What a shame. _"That's gonna scar. Thanks a lot, now I'll have to deal with _this_ for the rest of my life."

Minato didn't even twitch, his face set in stone. "That should've killed you."

"Yeah, but... _ninja_."

No sooner had he said this, than Minato was in front of him again, another glowing blue sphere now aimed at his head. Fortunately for him he had been ready this time, so the technique phased through him and into the tree trunk behind him, destroying it in an explosion of sawdust.

The masked man swirled into being on a tree branch right across from Minato. "Oh, don't tell me you put one of those seals on my mask. Do you know how mean that is? I actually liked this one."

"You killed my family, you fucking asshole."

"But my mask!"

Again, Minato flashed in front of him, and the masked man yawned into his hand when the attempt at his life ended in failure once again. "This isn't going your way no matter how many times you try that trick, you know. Turning immaterial is just cool like that."

Seeing the furrowed brow that broke through Minato's neutral features, the man chuckled. "It must be pretty frustrating to fight someone you can't hit. I mean, not that I would know anything about that, but I feel for you."

Minato took a deep breath and fixed him with a controlled glare. For the first time since the fight started, the masked man felt himself grow nervous. An angry and wild Yondaime Hokage was easy enough to avoid getting hit by, but a Yondaime Hokage that started to actually use that head of his? There was a chance that this could end bad for him.

He didn't have much time to think on it, because the next thing he knew, a tri-pronged kunai was hurled at his head.

Clicking his tongue, the masked man let the unique weapon phase through his head. The moment he felt the kunai's hilt exit the area where his skull should've been, he let himself become material again. "Haven't you learned already, I can-"

Whatever he had been about to say was interrupted by Minato teleporting right above him, the kunai in one hand and his swirling blue technique in the other... which phased through him once more as he re-activated his intangibility in the split second it took for Minato to fall on him.

The branch he stood on was completely disintegrated by the sheer force of the technique, forcing him to jump back onto another one close by. Seeing Minato's flash of shock as the Hokage fell down onto a branch parallel to his, brought on a chuckle, which quickly turned into a full-blown cackle that made him hold onto his knees to stop himself from falling over.

"HAHAHAHAAHAHA! Sorry, sorry it's just-" the masked man raised his covered face to look at Minato's scowling one, bringing him another round of laughs. "Oh god! You actually thought that would work for a second there, didn't you? Hahaha! That's just fucking hilarious!"

The masked man calmed himself down, holding his chest as he took ragged breaths. "Man, thanks Yondaime, I haven't had such a good laugh in a long time. Seriously, you thinking that the same 'kunai through the head' thing would work on me a second time?" He raised his hand and placed it on the marked mask. "Me, the guy who killed all your ANBU guards and captured a tailed beast in the same night?" When it came off, Minato couldn't see the face hidden in the shadows of the hood. The Yondaime stood still, knowing that any attack he tried at the moment would fail. After digging around inside his robe, the man brought out a new mask with his other hand, one identical to the old one, and put it on. "Classic."

He threw his old mask away, and the two opponents stared each other down, the mask's clattering journey to the ground below being drowned out by the Nine-Tails' rampage in the distance. "Let's see, Yondaime," the man said, chains sprouting out of his overly long sleeves. "Let's see how many more jokes you've got left in you."

In almost perfect synchronization, the two jumped at each other. They met in a clash of screeching steel, kunai against kunai, and fell back. As soon as the two landed on their respective tree branches, they came at each other once more, the masked man's chain now trailing behind him, held on both hands. When Minato reached him, the masked man became intangible, and the Hokage's momentum carried him through his opponent and into the waiting hold of the chain.

Not wanting together wrapped up in the metal links, Minato flashed back to a Hirashin seal he had placed on the tree branch he had just jumped off from, facing the falling form of the masked man. Going through hand signs, he built up his chakra. _Try going through this! _he thought, holding out his index and middle finger.

**"Lightning Style: Precision Shock!"**

A thin and long ray of lightning shot out of his fingertips. He was banking on the hope that the masked man would try and phase through it, just to see if elemental techniques were useless as well, but his opponent had other ideas.

The masked man sped through his own string of hand signs and held out his palms in front of him. **"Wind Style: Great Breakthrough!"**

The gust of wind that came as a result easily overpowered Minato's own technique and headed on straight for him. With a burst of speed, the Yellow Flash got out of the way just before the branch he had been standing on got practically disintegrated, along with the tree it was connected to and several other trees in the surrounding area.

The Yondaime jumped onto another branch only to abandon it when a chain slammed into the bark and broke it off. The moment he landed on the side of a tree, another chain headed for him and nearly cut the tree down. The same thing happened over and over, until Minato was forced to stay on the defensive, which basically meant he had to run around and try not to get blown apart.

The masked man only had one chain per hand, but he wielded them perfectly, not giving Minato any chance to counterattack. Whenever he attacked with one, he'd pull back on the other and fling it back over his head before bringing it back down in quick succession. The chains were apparently extendable too, so he didn't even move from his spot on a tree branch, content with wailing on Minato from a safe distance.

Seeing this, Minato got an idea. When he next set his feet on a flat surface, this time a tall outcropping that reached up through the branches, he didn't jump away as one of the chains sliced through the air towards him. Instead, he held out his hand and caught it.

Well, it wasn't really 'catching' as much as it was letting the chain slam into the palm of his hand and send him reeling off the rock and into the air. However, instead of a pain-filled grimace, Minato smirked as he twisted violently in midair. He opened a hand and activated his signature swirling technique.

When the masked man brought the chain back around over his head, Minato acted. He flashed to the Hirashin seal he had placed on one of the chain links that had most likely bruised his palm.

The masked man didn't even have time to react.

**"Rasengan!"**

The branch exploded as the sphere drilled into the masked man's back. he was then flung downwards, breaking apart everything within a five meter radius until he landed on the ground so hard that his body created a crater at least ten times his size.

He blinked, idly noting that his spinal cord was shattered. Such an injury would've usually ended any ninja's career, or any regular person's career for that matter, but it wouldn't be the first time he'd bounced back from such crippling injuries. No, the masked man was more worried about the fact that Minato had somehow figured out a way to debilitate him in the way he did.

_That's... That's just unfair, _he thought, truly speechless. _Why can't _my_ teleportation be that good?_

He heard Minato land next to him. "Just thought you should know, I placed a seal on you that negated whatever summoning contract you had with the Nine-Tails."

That did it. The masked man tried to laugh, but it came out as choked coughing. He'd been sure he had won just a moment before, and the Yondaime Hokage had brought him back down to earth after connecting with one move. "When... did you g-get the chance to do that?"

"Right after I finished breaking your back."

"Ah. Well... That sucks. I guess I'll have to come back for it later," the masked man said, mostly to himself. His injury wouldn't take him out forever, but there was no way he could keep fighting in the condition he was in. Lesson learned: don't get anywhere near the blue ball of death. He had known that the technique was dangerous before, but there was nothing like good old vertebrae demolition to really drive it home.

"You won't get the chance. I'm going to kill you now."

"No, you're not." That actually got Minato to pause, probably in preparation of some sort of last stand. Hesitating dumbass. "You know why? Because I can still do... this!"

With that, the masked man disappeared in a swirling vortex.

Minato had a long string of curses ready at seeing the man who had single handedly ruined his life get away, but the distant roars of the Nine-Tails as it kept flattening his village caught his attention.

Scowling down at the empty space where the masked man was just a second before, Minato clenched his hands. _Next time... I'll kill him without hesitation. But first..._

* * *

><p><em>Now! All Leaf forces, attack!<em>

With that mental command, all the remaining ninja who were well enough to fight launched a massive barrage of elemental and physical attacks right at the Nine-Tails, which was restricted in its movements by a cocoon of shadows, the entirety of the Akamichi clan holding it's tails down, and unbelievable amounts of ninja wire. The combined force of everyone's strength was enough to send the fox careening backwards over the village walls, where it stayed unmoving. Seeing this, a cheer arose from the assembled crowd.

The joy of his comrades put a bitter smile on Hiruzen's lips. Breaking off from Inoichi's technique, to which the man looked thankful, the previous village leader thought on what the next step would be. _That won't take it down for long. What should we do now? Destroy it? No, it would only come back in a few years or maybe even months. We need a long-term solution._Looking back to the village, his smile turned grim. _Over half of the village will need serious repairs. We're all just lucky that the Nine-Tails hasn't decided to pull out any of that mountain destroying power it's said to have, or else we'd all be finished already._

"You managed to knock it back, huh?"

Hearing that voice, though noticeably more somber than usual even considering their situation, made the weight on Hiruzen's shoulders disappear. Minato was younger than him, but his mere presence radiated a level of confidence that he himself had never personally been able to acquire.

"For now, yes, but not for very long," Hiruzen said.

Minato nodded, squinting at the still form of the Nine-Tails. "That's enough to seal it into someone and be done with this."

Inoichi, who had gotten enough of his bearings back to at least stand up straight, sent his Hokage a questioning look. "Speaking of which, where's Kushina? What the hell happened to make the demon escape from the seal?"

The question only brought about a palpable silence, and right then Hiruzen knew that he and Minato had both lost their wives tonight. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, clamping down on his jaw to keep it from trembling.

"... We're going to need a new Jinchuuriki."

The retired Hokage nodded in agreement of the current one. He signaled one of the ANBU that littered the scene. "Get the barrier team and tell them to restrain the beast for as long as possible, got it?"

"Roger!"

After the black-ops agent sunk into the shadows, Hiruzen turned to Minato. "That won't buy us too much time. A few minutes at most before it breaks out of whatever they decide to hold it with."

Minato frowned. "I know," he said, his eyes unfocused. A second later, they were back to normal. "I'll finish this as fast as possible."

After hearing their Hokage's last promise, Inoichi and Hiruzen watched him disappear in a yellow flash.

The hospital was easy enough to find. Along with the Hokage Tower and various other buildings of tremendous importance, it was completely surrounded by a white, luminescent barrier that reached far into the sky. **The Unbreakable Wall of the Leaf's Unshakable Resolve**, as he called it, was a barrier technique designed to protect the material necessities of the village in case of an invasion. Completed with the help of Jiraiya, Kushina, and the entire barrier team, it was nearly impenetrable, and only nearly because Minato wasn't sure how many Tailed Beast Bombs it could take before it shattered.

That is, unless the enemy knew how to use space-time techniques, in which case getting past it was easy enough.

Being the Hokage, Minato had taken the precaution of placing a Hirashin seal in every block of the village, so it didn't take him very long to walk through the doors of the hospital. As he strode through the white hallways, Minato ignored the cowering and confused doctors and nurses in favor of planning out how he would go about re-sealing the Nine-Tails into someone else.

_It'll be easier for a child to adjust than a grown adult, _he figured, glancing at every room number he walked by. Realizing what he just thought, Minato cringed. It felt wrong to think that way, but he knew he was right. A kid could grow into their responsibility as a Jinchuuriki, while someone older would most likely refuse or turn away from it. He was sure that someone like Inoichi or Chouza would accept without question, so loyal they were to the village and to him, but they had families they needed to take care of. So it had to be a child, someone who had nothing to lose. That didn't make it easier for him to know that he was basically about to ruin someone's life before it even really began.

It couldn't be him, as the only technique he knew that could seal something like the Nine-Tails into himself would end up killing him regardless. And if there was one thing he was sure of, it was that he couldn't die. The Leaf would need its leader now more than ever.

That sent him on another line of thought. He was the Hokage, and could, according to his authority, order others to do whatever he thought was best for the village. However, he didn't think he could look into a parent's eyes and order them to hand over their child to serve as a sacrifice. _An orphan then. God, I'll never be able to live with myself after all of this is over, will I? _But who could he chose? It didn't feel right to just walk into a room full of newborn orphans and pick out whichever one he thought had the most chakra.

It would've been so much easier if... if Naruto had just been born a little sooner, or if that man had just shown up a little later. He could've sealed it inside his son knowing that he wouldn't be let down. He'd still feel terrible, but at least he would've been able to rest easy knowing he'd placed the Nine-Tails in trustworthy hands.

When Minato walked by another room, he heard a furious cough. The kind that could only mean one thing. On a whim, if only to satiate his brief curiosity before resuming his duty, the Yondaime Hokage opened the door, and changed the world forever.

* * *

><p>Standing before the trapped Nine-Tails just outside the village walls, Minato wracked his brain for anything that could allow him to seal the beast into the newborn babe that was resting on his summoned altar. For all his knowledge of sealing, Minato had never been faced with a problem so frustratingly simple and yet difficult as this.<p>

The Nine-Tails had _way_ too much chakra. Just a ridiculously unimaginable amount. He didn't have a seal that could contain even a little more than half of it.

He'd never thought about how difficult it must've been for the Leaf to find suitable Jinchuuriki before. The first one had been so good at sealing that she made any side-effect of getting a Tailed Beast sealed inside her moot for all intents and purposes, doing such a good job of it that it's influence was nearly nonexistent. Then Kushina came along with her convenient chakra chains, easily submitting the demon to her will. It made him wonder what the plan would've been when she had to pass it on and they'd find themselves short of any more special Uzumaki.

... Kind of like what was happening now, actually.

The obvious solution was to split the Nine-Tails in half, storing one in him and the other in the child with the **Eight Trigrams Seal** he'd been working on, but the **Dead Demon Consuming Seal** he'd have to use on himself would kill him, and he wasn't about to abandon his village in the aftermath of everything that had happened.

It was only when the beast behind him figured out what he was trying to do that he found the solution to his dilemma. It hadn't been tested, there was an approximately fifty percent chance of failure, and it could end in the Nine-Tails just getting more pissed off than it probably already was after getting mind controlled, but it was the only thing he could think of with even the slightest chance of success. Plus, by the way it was roaring its heart out inside the barrier it was contained in, the Nine-Tails couldn't get any more pissed off anyway.

The **Eight Trigrams Seal** was actually pretty simple when one looked at it from a surface level. It was just two **Four Symbols Seals** tethered together. By that logic, Minato could theoretically keep adding as many **Four Symbols Seals** as he wanted and it would all work out. Now, he was sure that each individual symbol would eventually start to negatively affect all the others the more of them he drew, but it wasn't like he'd actually go and see how many he could add before the whole matrix imploded. Sixteen Trigrams shouldn't be too many, right?

It was an easy thing to draw up his half-baked idea. Each symbol had to be extremely small, considering how many there were and what he was drawing them on, but it only took him a few moments at best, as all sixteen symbols were uniform. The baby was helpful too, laying still and not squirming much. He was quiet for a newborn, with eyes opened and staring up at him, making him feel even guiltier.

He had no idea what the seal would do. The **Eight Trigrams Seal** would've slowly integrated the Nine-Tails' chakra into its Jinchuuriki as time went by, and would've even allowed the Jinchuuriki to use their demon's chakra in exponentially expanding amounts if they ever had the need for it, but a **Sixteen Trigrams Seal** was a complete unknown to him, at least right now when he was rushing it before the demon broke out and skewered him with one of its claws. Even now it was banging against the almost transparent wall that separated it from it's potential jail.

**"Don't you dare! I'll rip your worthless sack of a body to shreds, you hear me!?"**

Huh. The Nine-Tails could talk, apparently. He didn't know that. It was actually the first time he really got a good look at it, much less heard it speak.

**"You think that puny scrap of life can hold me back from turning this entire village into a canyon!? He is no Uzumaki! Those damned chains might've been able to restrain me, but this baby!?"**

Oh well, the seal was already done. All that was left to do was place its prisoner inside.

Minato whistled at one of he ninja holding the barrier in place. "Oi, drop it. Let it out."

The ninja spluttered, looking up at the great beast he was helping to hold back from his kneeling position. "Wh-What!? Are you sure, Hokage-sama?"

"Do I look like I'm not sure? Just do it. Have some faith in your Hokage."

"Y-Yes, Hokage-sama!"

The Nine-Tails, having heard this, got ready for when the barrier was dropped. Its whole body tensed, and its glowering red eyes set themselves on the one man who could realistically stop it.

The almost invisible wall that surrounded its massive form disappeared, freeing the tailed beast. It immediately went for Minato, its claws stabbing forward, tearing through the air.

"Tch, so predictable."

With one sharp tip of a claw only millimeters away from his forehead, Minato, raised one hand towards the beast and lay the other on the newborn's stomach, his five fingers spanning the seal placed there.

The moment his hand touched the man-sized claw that had just been about to kill him, the Nine-Tails became visible chakra, passed through him, and ended up inside the seal. It was a weird feeling, having what could very well be the biggest amount of chakra to ever exist briefly inside of him. It hadn't exactly hurt, but it was _intense_. Oppressive. For a second, it had almost felt like he was about to explode, and then it was gone. _And that's what this kid will have to live with._

The danger now gone for good, the ninja barrier team that had been anxiously standing all around him finally relaxed. Actually, it felt as if the entire village could finally breathe again, as damaged as it was. The mere presence of the Nine-Tails had been enough to instantly put everyone within a thousand meter radius into fight-or-flight mode, and now that it was gone, the pure relief that spread was overwhelming.

Hiruzen reached him soon enough after that, staring intently at the bundled baby in Minato's arms. "Is that..."

"Yeah..."

It took a moment for Minato to realize that he was crying, and when he did, it all came down. With the Nine-Tails taken care of, there was nothing to hold him back from thinking of Kushina, their son who had never been given a chance, and the life he had been ready to begin. The village, or what was left of it. The countless amounts of people who had surely lost their lives. The man who had caused it all, who would surely come back for his stolen weapon one day.

Hiruzen didn't look to be doing much better, but that was okay. As the two Hokage looked on at their ruined responsibility, and thought back to their deceased loved ones, they allowed themselves to mourn.

"What is his name?"

"Hm?" Minato snapped his head down to the new Jinchuuriki in his arms, who finally slept soundly.

"His name..." He knew it alright, had it branded to his memory to remember for as long as he lived. The name of the life he had sacrificed because of his duty, taken straight from the mother's lips.

"... Arashi."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong>

**Yes, believe it or not someone just made a Naruto story in which Naruto dies in the first chapter and is subsequently replaced by someone else in his role as the Jinchuuriki of the Nine Tailed Demon Fox. Well, not really dies, since he was never technically born, but that's a whole different discussion.**

**Now, hold on with those flames, please. Before you burn me alive, let me tell you all why this came about. I've been thinking of starting this story for a while now, and kept having new ideas, so much so that even now I've got this story pretty much locked down in planning up until the end of the canonical part one at least. As I kept thinking about it, there was only one problem I ran into: Naruto. The more crap I piled on my story, the more Naruto himself didn't fit, to the point that he eventually became an OC in all but name. So, naturally, I decided that if the main character was going to basically be an OC anyway, I might as well actually go through with it.**

**Why Arashi? Well, the name had to be Japanese or else it would sound stupid amongst all the Hinatas and Shikamarus of the world, and I didn't want to try my hand at making up my own Japanese name, because that would've sounded even worse than if it was English. 'Arashi' is a somewhat recognizable name in Naruto fanon, it isn't taken by any canon character, and it sounds halfway decent when put next to all the others, so I went with it. Plus, 'Arashi' apparently means 'storm', so it does fit when you look at what happened on the day of his birth.**

**That's it, then. I'm done trying to justify killing off the protagonist of this entire series in the very first chapter. Don't worry, the rest of this story will hopefully more than make up for it.**

**Next time, we see the Leaf's Jinchuuriki grow up in a town that seems to think he doesn't exist, the Yondaime living on when his wife and child do not, and how to skip rocks.**


	2. The Ghost of the Leaf

I don't own Naruto. I don't think anyone owns Naruto, really. It's just been flailing around by itself looking for someone to tell it what to do for a while now.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Two: The Ghost of the Leaf<strong>

* * *

><p>A young boy wandered a small mask shop. It was otherwise empty, but that was to be expected. Masks were mostly on demand at festivals and holidays, not on a normal day in the middle of August. The silence inside was only broken by his footsteps.<p>

His green eyes traveled up and down the racks filled with masks of all kinds. Some were vibrant and painted with a variety of colors, way too many in his opinion, and others were far too convoluted for his tastes. Brushing a stray strand of his unkept hazel hair away from his eyes, the boy found just what he was looking for.

It was a simple thing, rather boring when compared to all the others. The plain white mask only had one thing going for it: three whisker marks drawn on each cheek. He took it and examined it closely, looking for a price tag, and sighed when he didn't find one. Only the shopkeeper would know how much it cost, so with no small amount of trepidation, the boy went up to the front of the store, the mask clutched tightly in his hand.

The man behind the counter didn't even glance his way when he approached, nor when he was standing directly in front of him. Despite this, the boy held up the mask.

"Mister, how much for this one?"

The man was seated on a chair, holding up his head with the palm of his hand, his elbow against the counter, staring dully at the back of the store.

"There's no tag on it," the boy said, waving the mask in front of the man's eyes. "Mister?"

When he didn't get an answer, the boy let his arm hang back to his side. He looked down at his feet, then placed the mask with the whiskers on the counter. He wouldn't be buying it today.

Walking out of the store, the boy easily breached the throng of people that filled the street. With so many people going about their day, he should've bumped into someone by accident, or at least brushed against them, but it never happened. He might as well have not been there.

The boy could feel himself starting to lose it. The shopkeeper had been the only person he had tried talking to in days, and the results had been the same as always. He was ignored easily, by the shopkeeper, by everyone. But was it really ignoring? Maybe they just didn't see him, and that made him feel worse.

Feeling his eyes start to prickle with tears, the boy ran into an alleyway, his head down. _Why?_ That was the question that he'd always asked himself. It seemed like he wasn't even a person sometimes. Like he wasn't even-

"Oof!"

The next thing he knew, the boy was sitting on the dirty ground, leaning back against his hands. There was a woman in front of him in quite a similar position, and for one brief instant, their eyes met. She immediately looked down at her spilled groceries, starting to put them back inside her bag. As she did, the boy sat there, his eyes wide. She had looked at him! It was quick, and it was probably with irritation for running into her, but she had!

When the woman was standing and had everything back in order, the boy realized that he couldn't just do nothing. Quickly, he stood as well, and bowed, his legs straight and his arms tight against his sides.

"I'm sorry! I wasn't paying attention to where I was going!"

When he didn't get a response, the boy looked up from his bow and couldn't breathe. The woman walked forward, and when she reached him, kept walking. She passed by him, not even turning her head his way. It was as if their clash had never happened.

He didn't look back at her. His shock kept him paralyzed, still bowed and his eyes still wide. When his brain finally came to accept what just happened, the boy fell to his knees. He held up a hand in front of his stupefied face.

_Am I here?_

His hand was shaking, but the boy kept staring at it, searching. When the shaking became too violent, he grabbed his hand with the other and held them both against him.

_I have to be._

He could barely feel the warmth of his palm. Could barely feel his heart drumming in his chest.

_I'm here... I'm really here..._

_... right?_

* * *

><p>Inside the Hokage's office, standing in front of the wide window behind an old desk full of documents, Minato looked over his village. Reconstruction had gone well, only taking a few months to complete when it should've taken years. Of course, they did have someone who could produce endless amounts of wood, so there was that.<p>

New buildings couldn't replace all the people who had died in the attack, however. Around 1/5 of the entire population had been killed in one night. Nearly everyone had lost a family member or friend.

"Minato-sama, your three 'o clock is here to see you."

Minato rubbed his forehead, turning to see his assistant. "Ryuka, for the hundredth time, it's _Hokage_-sama. _Hokage_."

Ryuka was the type of ninja that graduated from the academy and chose to stay away from field missions, but somehow, despite barely having experienced any real combat, she wasn't scared of him, even when he got mad. She hardly even respected him, to be honest, and it was frustrating. He was her _boss_!

She quirked an eyebrow at him, tucking her orange hair behind her ear. "So grouchy today, Minato-sama. Something on your mind?"

He didn't answer, instead crossing his arms and turning his attention back on the village. Ryuka hummed, getting him to look back at her again.

"What?"

"Don't tell me you're thinking about that day again," she said. "It's been six years. I don't mean to sound rude, but..."

Minato sighed, sitting down on his comfy seat behind his desk. "But what? Get over it?" He leaned forward, his fingers intertwined under his chin. "I can't get over it, Ryuka. I can't just forget everything."

"I'm not telling you to forget, it's just not healthy for you to-"

"Ryuka," he interrupted. "You said someone was here to see me? Bring them in."

She opened her mouth up to say something, but closed it and shook her head. When she left the room, Minato covered his face with his hands.

Things had been... difficult... after the Nine-Tails' attack. He'd thrown himself into his work as Hokage, trying to rebuild the village, and when that was done, he found himself with too much time. Time to mourn, time to be alone, time to think...

He still wasn't used to it. Some days he woke up smelling breakfast, only to reach the kitchen and realize that it was all just in his head. When he finished work, he would go to his house and open the door with an 'I'm home!' ready on his lips, then walk inside and find himself with no one to say it to.

Every once in a while, deep in the recesses of his mind, he wanted something bad to happen. Something to get him out of sitting and signing papers all day, listening to the elders squabble amongst themselves before shutting down whatever outrageous idea they got, having to deal with complaints from clans and ninja and civilians about the economy or a technique that needs to get banned or a zoning issue.

"Uh, Hokage-sama?"

Hearing that, Minato looked up to see one of his ninja saluting awkwardly in front of him, with Ryuka standing by the door. He must've been so deep in thought that he didn't even hear them come in.

Half of the ninja's face was bandaged, but he could still tell who it was. Iruka Umino, a chunin who had gotten in over his head on his last mission.

"Iruka," Minato nodded, getting the chunin to relax. "I assume you know why you're here today. I mean, it would be hard to forget, what with almost losing an eye and all."

"Yes, Hokage-sama," said Iruka, his eyes looking down at the ground.

"Your team's mission was to find and capture a missing Cloud ninja for questioning. After the enemy was secure, you were tasked with guarding him for the night. What happened?"

"I..." Iruka swallowed hard. "She said she needed water, so I gave it to her. When she drank it, she was able to attack me with a water technique and escape."

"You almost lost your eye."

The chunin nodded, closing his eyes shut. "It was stupid. We failed our mission, but Hokage-sama," here Iruka opened his eyes and met Minato's for the first time, "please don't put the blame on any of my teammates. It was all me."

Minato sighed deeply. Usually, something like this wouldn't warrant a meeting with the Hokage, but it had only been the latest of a long string of mistakes on Iruka's part. They all shared something in common too.

"Iruka, I'm going to put it bluntly. You're too nice."

The chunin didn't look very surprised. He had probably been thinking on it since his last mission.

"That's a great thing for you as a person, but not as a ninja," Minato continued. "You're very skilled for your station, but you're becoming a liability. Honestly, I don't know what to do with you."

"Hokage-sama, if I may," Iruka said. When Minato nodded, he stood up straighter, holding his hands behind his back. "I don't think I'm cut out for field work, maybe I never have been, but I still want to help the Leaf as much as I can. So... I want to become a teacher at the academy."

Minato blinked, and that was as far as his surprise would show. He hadn't been expecting that. "Why?"

"My parents were both ninja," Iruka said. "They were amazing. When they died on... on _that_ day... I didn't know what to do. I just cried and cried. I wanted them to be proud of me, so I signed up to be a ninja, but I wasn't very good. I couldn't understand basic techniques, I barely passed the graduation exam, and the only reason anyone remembered me was because I was the class clown."

The Yondaime felt his guilt cropping up again. That entire Nine-Tails incident could've been prevented, but he'd been too gullible, too hesitant. Iruka's parents could've still been alive.

"But then, one day I was visiting them, and the Sandaime came up to me. He told me that... the older generation passed their will onto the younger generation. Even if my parents were dead, their Will of Fire still lived on in me. I want to help the younger generation like the Sandaime helped me... Like my parents helped me..."

Minato could feel a smile form behind his hands. "The Will of Fire, huh?" Iruka was skilled enough to teach kids how to be ninja, and now he knew that the chunin was also driven. He'd probably try even if Minato refused him. "The school year starts tomorrow."

"I know, Hokage-sama."

"You'd have to start as an assistant teacher. You're okay with that?"

"I am."

"Good. It's eight 'o clock tomorrow, Iruka. Don't be late."

Iruka's smile brightened up the room. "Th-Thank you, Hokage-sama!"

He walked out the door shortly after, leaving Minato and Ryuka alone in the office. The Yondaime slouched on his seat, and his assistant walked over to his desk, sitting on it'a edge and looking down at him with a sly smile.

"You made a man very happy today, Minato-sama," Ryuka said.

Minato ran a hand through his spiky blonde hair. "Yeah, well, its good to see someone strive for the future like him. It'll be good, I can't wait to see the kids he ends up teaching."

"Strive for the future... Better than getting stuck in the past, wouldn't you agree?"

"I guess so- wait..." Minato leaned back on his seat, narrowing his eyes at her. "Oh, I see. Nice try, Ryuka."

"I'm just saying, Iruka-san seems like a very wise young man."

"Ha ha, hilarious. I don't know why I haven't fired you yet."

"You'd be lost without me, Minato-sama. Speaking of which," she glanced down at the clipboard in her arm, "we should get going. It's time."

The Hokage sat up, pushing back on his chair. "It's time? Already? Now?"

"What? Did you forget?" Ryuka made a satisfied grunt, already walking over to the door. "I told you you'd be lost without me."

Minato stood up from his chair and followed her out, grabbing his Hokage robe from the coat hanger near the entrance. "Don't kid yourself, I can always get another assistant."

"But you don't."

"For some reason."

* * *

><p>With some trepidation, Minato knocked on the door. It barely made any noise in the empty and otherwise dead silent hall, so Ryuka pushed his lingering arm away and knocked on the door herself, making sure that the sound echoed.<p>

"This is the fifth time we've visited, Minato-sama," she told him, rolling her eyes when she saw him fidget. "Don't tell me you're still nervous."

The Yondaime's expression wasn't particularly one of worry. In fact, he looked perfectly calm. However, a bead of sweat making its way down the side of his face betrayed him. "I can't help it. It's not easy for me to relax around him when I'm the one who-"

The door opened, and the two grown adults found themselves looking down at the six-year old boy on the other side. He looked at each of them in turn, neither smiling nor frowning.

"Hello, Ryuka-san, Hokage-sama."

The greeting was stiffly said. Obviously, the boy wasn't yet used to the arrangement. Minato felt his words catch in his throat, taking a step backwards. Ryuka, though, didn't let it get to her. She knelt down in front of the boy and ran her hand through his hazel colored hair, managing to get an uncomfortable blush out of him.

"Arashi-kun, didn't I tell you last time that you needed a haircut? Look, it's already reached past your eyes!"

"R-Ryuka-saaan," whined Arashi, trying to back away, but she wouldn't let him off that easily.

"Not so fast, mister! If you can't take responsibility for yourself, I guess it's up to me to make you look presentable."

And with that, Ryuka led Arashi inside. The boy tried to act as of he didn't want to follow, but Minato got the feeling that he secretly liked the attention. Seeing as he was the last one left, the Yondaime went inside the apartment as well.

The apartment itself wasn't very big, but it was enough to comfortably house the one occupant who lived inside. It was relatively clean, not having any trash lying around, but Minato could pick out some dust here and there that would need to get swiped off with a broom. The furniture looked well taken care of, though the Hokage figured with a small pang of guilt that it might've been more because no one ever sat on it than because of constant upkeep. All around, it wasn't bad at all. For a six year old, Arashi seemed like he could take care of himself. Minato just wished that he didn't have to do it in the first place.

Ryuka led Arashi to the bathroom, holding a pair of scissors and a comb. "Minato-sama, why don't you get lunch started? I won't take long."

The Yondaime grunted, shooting her an annoyed frown. "You want _me_ to do the cooking? Who's the assistant around here again?

"I'm sorry, I didn't know that the famed Yellow Flash was afraid of a stove."

"Fine! Just don't expect a raise anytime soon!"

Moving into the kitchen, Minato immediately went for the fridge, hoping that there would be something quick and easy so that he wouldn't have to turn anything on and risk setting the whole building on fire. Years of ninja training and then his duties as Hokage had left him little time to learn the culinary arts.

Luckily for him, he found something that he thought he could get right. As he chopped a carrot into several small pieces, Minato could hear Ryuka and Arashi talking from inside the bathroom. He couldn't make out the words and was unwilling to sharpen his hearing for the sake of their privacy, but the sound of their muffled voices brought about a strange realization.

Was this how things could've been? Him trying to cook something up while Kushina sat Naruto down and gave him a haircut? It sounded like something she'd do, not trusting anyone but her near her son with scissors in their hands. Naruto would've been about six years old too. Getting lost in the rhythmic thud of the knife going through the vegetable, Minato almost smiled at the fantasy of another life...

And then he ran out of carrot to cut up, bringing him back into reality. He slowly let go of the knife, his breathing coming out in short and quick gasps, and gripped the edge of the kitchen table with both hands. Minato leaned heavily on it, his head down.

A few minutes later, he found himself sitting anxiously on the couch. Just as he was about to cross and uncross his legs for the tenth time, Ryuka got out of the bathroom looking rather glum and closed the door behind her before the sounds of falling water droplets reached his ears.

"I had him take a shower," his assistant explained as she took a seat next to him. "It'll get rid of all those hair strands that probably got stuck on his head. That and he smelled kinda funky."

Ryuka then slumped forward, cradling her cheek. Frowning, Minato leaned down with her and put a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, what's wrong? Don't tell me you're tired already."

"It's not that, it's... him. Arashi." Her hands went to her knees, forming into tight fists. "Those people... Minato-sama..."

The Yondaime closed his eyes, sighing. "Ryuka..."

"He didn't talk all that much about it. Barely two words, but I could tell just by looking at him. He's... breaking, Minato-sama. It's not fair. It's not."

"I know already, don't you think? I'm the one who-"

"No! You are not making this about you and your stupid guilt trip!" She spoke in an angry whisper, as if she was afraid that Arashi would somehow be listening in to what they were talking about over the sound of the shower. "You feel bad for screwing him over? Then do something about it."

Minato stood, his fists shaking on his sides. "And what do you want me to do, Ryuka?"

The Hokage's assistant got up as well and stomped her way over to him, getting right in his face. "How about you actually use those Hokage powers you always complain about!? You're the boss, aren't you? They'll have to listen!"

"What am I gonna say, huh? _Please be nice to him and be his friend?_ Just because I'm the Hokage, it doesn't mean I can change how they feel!" Minato turned around and took a few steps away from her, dragging his fingers down his face to rest on his chin. "Even if I did order them to like him, it's not like they actually would. There's no switch that they can just turn off and suddenly not be angry and afraid. It's just not that easy."

Ryuka crossed her arms and rested her head on her chest. "But we have to do _something_. He needs something to just... I don't know... I don't know, Minato-sama."

Minato didn't say anything. _I don't know either_. Silence fell upon them, the only sounds coming from the muted shower head in the bathroom and the light sizzling coming from the kitchen. Speaking of which...

The Yondaime sniffed, his eyebrow raised. "Hey, do you smell something burning?"

That's when smoke began to obscure the ceiling.

* * *

><p>The fire didn't spread too far, fortunately for Arashi, who would've had to deal with a ruined kitchen, and Minato, who would've had to pay for it. Any chance of having a nice, home cooked lunch had been ruined however, so the three of them settled for takeout.<p>

Eating on the small dinner table just outside his kitchen, Arashi tried not to be too obvious as he stole glances at the two people sitting across from him. It was surreal, having the leader of the village come to his apartment and then proceed to almost burn it down. He figured he should've been a little angry, especially considering that he'd gotten his own place just a few weeks before, but he couldn't bring himself to resent the man after he had tried to cook for him.

His head felt strangely lighter, his hair now barely reaching his eyebrows and only managing to cover the very tips of his ears. He didn't know if it looked any better, but it certainly felt better. Having other people take care of him for once was great.

The Hokage and his assistant were new. They had just showed up one day at the orphanage to offer him a place to stay. At first, he had liked to pretend that it was adoption, but when he found himself alone for the most part, Arashi decided it wasn't anything close to that. Still, they visited him every once in a while, and he found himself looking forward to the next time he could open the front door and find them on the other side. At the very least, he could have someone to talk to. Or to look at him.

Ryuka hummed as she slurped on her ramen straight out of the box. "This is good! We should've just done this from the very beginning instead of you almost killing all of us, Minato-sama."

"Hey, it was your idea, remember?" Minato was much less enthusiastic about eating his own food, prodding at it with his chopsticks. "And this stuff is terrible for you. I don't know how you can keep shoveling it down your throat without bloating up like a balloon."

"You're exaggerating, Minato-sama. And the taste makes up for the calories." She held out the box in her hand, wiggling it suggestively at Arashi. "Am I right or am I right, Arashi?"

Minato sighed, exasperated. "Seriously? Poisoning a six year old?"

"Junk food isn't poisonous!"

Arashi looked at the noodles, then at the rice balls and chicken on his plate, and then back at the noodles. Shrugging, he went ahead and tried it.

"Muahahaha! Now you're one of us!"

"You're impossible."

Grimacing, Arashi swallowed the last of it and grabbed his cup of water, taking a few long gulps to wash away the taste. Looking at Ryuka's smirking face, he frowned. "I don't like it."

That comment was like a shot through the heart. Ryuka's jaw didn't exactly hit the table, but Arashi suspected it was only because it was connected to the rest of her head. Minato, on the other hand, tried his best to hide his snicker behind his hand.

"Wh-What!? You don't like it!?"

"No. Too noodley."

"But that's not even a word!" Minato couldn't hold back his following bark of laughter. His assistant immediately rounded on him. "You shut up!" she huffed, scrunching up her shoulders and slurping up her noodles on her own, a scowl plastered on her face.

Arashi eyed Minato, not wanting to look too curious. From all the times he'd seen the man, laughing didn't seem like his shtick. The Yondaime always gave off a more somber vibe, especially around him.

Minato's eyes met his, and whatever good humor he had vanished. "Arashi, there's something we have to talk about."

The boy nodded, putting down his chopsticks. Ryuka also stopped eating, glancing sideways at her boss. He sat with his hands on his chin, as if he were in a meeting with one of his ninja.

"You probably didn't know this, but the Ninja Academy school year starts tomorrow," he said. "You're old enough now to sign up for it."

Arashi found himself without a clue as to what to say. He'd considered being a ninja before, it was hard not when living in a village where at least a third of the overall population was made up of ninja. But whenever he spotted one of them bounding across rooftops, he'd always felt that they were so far away. They seemed so strong, so big, and he was none of those things. Yet here was the Hokage himself offering him the opportunity.

"You... You want me to be a ninja?"

_What else could you be?_ Minato thought. As a Jinchuuriki, he was sort of expected to become a ninja. Even then, it wasn't like anyone would teach Arashi how to be a carpenter. Or a merchant. Or anything that didn't have to do with killing people, really. He knew that people would complain, but he'd do everything in his power to at least give the boy a chance.

"It's your decision," he said. Arashi looked like he was struggling with himself, so Minato quickly added, "It isn't like you sign up and then you're stuck with it, Arashi. You can just go for one day and quit if you don't like it. At least try it out."

Arashi hesitantly nodded once, before picking up his chopsticks and filling his mouth with food. Looking at Ryuka next to him, her deadpan expression seemed to say, _You're such a buzzkill, you know that?_ but Minato only gave her a shrug.

In the pit of his stomach, Arashi felt... something. Like the food he ate came to life and started banging on the walls of his belly trying to get out. He didn't think the feeling would go away anytime soon.

* * *

><p>Arashi wasn't hiding from anyone. He told himself that even as he ducked behind an oak tree, peeking out of the edge to look at the big crowd that formed at the entrance of the academy. Parents, both civilian and ninja alike, dropped off their children with hugs and kisses and promises to come back and pick them up. A few of the academy teachers greeted some of the older students, and said hello to the new ones.<p>

He was sure that if he got out from behind that tree and went over, nothing would change. They'd keep going with the goodbyes and the joviality. He just wouldn't be a part of it.

But he wasn't hiding. It's not like he really needed to anyway. And weren't ninja _supposed_ to stick to the shadows? He was already way ahead of his classmates in that regard, right?

Eventually, the crowd dispersed. Students and teachers began to make their way inside, and Arashi knew that he couldn't stay there and clutch his bag like a lifeline any longer. He'd have to go to class... a big room full of people who wouldn't notice him in the least.

God, that sounded horrible. It was bad enough when it happened by passing as he walked down the street, but now he'd be forcing himself to be in that position, continuously, for eight hours, by at least thirty kids his age. He was already starting to regret coming here. _Just one day..._ Arashi hadn't exactly promised the Hokage, but he didn't want to disappoint the one guy who seemed to care about what happened to him. _Just one day and I'm never coming back here again._

It was surprisingly easy to find his classroom. Ryuka kept telling him that his biggest problem would be just getting around the place, something she had learned during her own time in the academy. That meant she was either lying for some reason, or she was one heck of a scatterbrain when she was younger. Actually, that made complete sense now that he thought about it.

Shaking his head, Arashi stared down the door marked 106. The fluttery feeling in his stomach had come back with a vengeance. Well, it hadn't gone away exactly, but he'd managed to tune it down to a dull thumping before falling asleep last night. All those efforts were in vain, it seemed. With one last shaky sigh, he placed a hand on the handle, turned it, and pushed.

Most of the kids sitting down turned their heads. In fact, everyone probably at least glanced up at him. He knew they did, eye contact was made for half a second before they all awkwardly went back to what they were all doing.

And just like that, he calmed down.

There wasn't any point in being nervous or whatever. _They_ sure weren't nervous about meeting him. They didn't feel anything about meeting him. Somehow, that made it easier. Not better, but easier.

Arashi looked around the room as he slowly traveled down the stairs. It was big, that was for sure, but somewhat empty, which made sense, as there were still a few minutes left before class was supposed to start. All three rows of long desks placed on either side of the steps had at least one seat without anyone sitting on it. He could pick whatever seat he wanted.

In the end, he sat on a chair close to the window. The only other person sitting at his desk was some black haired kid too busy looking outside to notice that someone had sat beside him. Arashi didn't even try to introduce himself.

After that, things went by at a relatively slow pace. The rest of the class eventually showed up and filled the room before the teacher finally arrived. For a ninja, the man was surprisingly bulky, and talked so fast that Arashi completely missed his name.

After checking the attendance, the man went on and on about what it meant to be a ninja, what their duties would be for their years at the academy, the competition for who would end up being Rookie of the Year when they graduated... It was all too much too soon and Arashi could already feel his head starting to hurt, and looking around the room, he could tell that everyone else felt about the same. The kid next to him seemed to perk up at the last point, though. _At least one of us is looking forward to this._

With his introduction complete, the sensei began a long lecture about... something. Arashi stopped paying attention after realizing that all they would do until the end of the day was sit there and listen to some guy talk to them about being ninjas. What kind of torture was this? Who thought that it would be a good idea to sit a bunch of six-year-olds down and force them to do absolutely nothing but hear someone speak?

Their future subjects, the proper way to hold a kunai without stabbing yourself, the consequences that would befall them should they ever stab someone else, and worst of all, the ninja rules.

A ninja must show no weakness, a ninja must always follow orders, a ninja must fight for their village, a ninja must always put the mission first, a ninja must never show their tears, a ninja must always be prepared- God, it was maddening! What kind of rules were these?

Even when they went outside to the training yard, they weren't allowed to do anything. They were considered too inexperienced to hold anything pointy, so the class just stood back and watched as their sensei threw some shuriken at a target. Most of them oohed and wowed at the appropriate times. Even Arashi had to admit that it looked cool when the man hit the target after twisting around.

The only one who didn't seem all that impressed was that same kid from before. If anything, he looked amused, like he knew a secret no one else did. Whenever their sensei showed off another move, the kid would almost chuckle at the reactions it got from everyone.

The teacher eventually picked up on this. "Oh? Is there something funny, Uchiha-kun?"

As one, everyone's heads snapped towards the boy. Even with the attention of the entire class bearing down on him, he didn't look very nervous. In fact, he looked quite pleased. Arashi watched on from the back, his hands twitching in his pockets. How irritating, to see someone who was able to get all their eyes on him without even an ounce of effort. _I hope you choke._

"Yeah, actually," the Uchiha said, his voice carrying only a hint of amusement. "You're spinning around and doing all this fancy stuff, but you haven't hit the bulls-eye even once."

It was true. The target had many kunai and shiruken stabbed into it, but none of them were inside the inner circle. All the kids gasped, only now noticing it.

"It's a waste of moment, at least that's what my brother would say," he almost mocked. "You'd do better if you stopped showing off so much."

The class burst out laughing as their sensei stammered. "Y-You think so, huh!?" he said. He then held out a kunai by the tip, presenting its handle to the young Uchiha. "How about you show the class how to properly throw a weapon, then? I'm sure that someone as skilled as you can surely make a perfect shot."

It was petty. Arashi understood that. Still... a part of him kind of wanted to see his classmate trip on his own feet. It might've been mean, but there was just something about that guy that he didn't like.

Without missing a beat, the Uchiha walked up to his 'teacher' and snatched the kunai right out of his hand. "I'm not as good as my bro, but I think I can handle it," he said, getting into position a few meters away from the target, a little further than the sensei himself. He then twisted his hand around and casually tossed the kunai without any effort being placed on the rest of his arm. With a heavy thunk, it stuck itself against the target, right in the center.

Arashi had to give his grudging respect as his peers all gasped and cheered, with whispers of 'genius' mixed in. One of the students reacted quite differently, however, pushing his way to the front and pointing an accusing finger. Arashi hadn't really paid much attention when attendance was being called out, so he didn't know the kid's name, but he noted the red markings on his face and... were those fangs?

"Hey, wait a minute!" the boy called. "That was just lucky! There's no way you could do that ag-"

There was another thunk, and a second kunai was suddenly stabbed into the target, right next to the first one. The strange boy with markings on his face seemed to freeze. "... H... How?"

The Uchiha shrugged. "It's all in the wrist."

Arashi batched as the class crowded around the kid. _That guy..._ He suddenly understood what it was about the other boy that bothered him so much.

_I wish I had what that guy did..._

* * *

><p>A few hours later, Arashi walked along a dirt road back to his small apartment. There was a river running parallel to the road, just down a small grassy hill.<p>

The day had been... well, not exactly bad, but just kind of average. Then again, average for him was bad anyway. He already knew that he wasn't going back there again. Arashi might've considered putting up with all the kids trying desperately to look anywhere but at him if he actually wanted to be a ninja, but he didn't see the point in it.

It was calming, like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Being a ninja would mean having to deal with so much responsibility, and he just didn't care. He didn't care about fighting or protecting the village. _And why should I? No one here cares about me._

Maybe that's why it was such a relief to drop out of the academy, even if it was after just one day. He was tired of trying to get others to notice him. It was exhausting, and it never worked, and it only ever ended with him getting all worked up over it. He was tired of caring.

Briefly, an image of him staring back at himself in front of a mirror with Ryuka fussing over his hair flashed by his mind, but it was discarded just as quickly as it came. She was the Hokage's assistant, and the Hokage was supposed to watch over everyone in the village. It wasn't like the Hokage cared about him personally, he was just doing his job.

No, the only one who seemed to really care about him was himself. No one was ever going to accept him, he'd known that ever since he could remember. _I should just give up on them. I don't need anyone else._

The road he was on was empty. It was in the outskirts of the village, so it was to be expected. As alone as he was, it didn't feel any different from walking around in the main street. There were just less people in the way. Less obstacles.

It was comforting.

But then a sound snapped him out of his thoughts. Shouting, or grunting. Whoever it was, they sounded really frustrated. Arashi looked down the hill at the shore of the river, and found the culprit. Someone was standing on the rocky surface. Someone young.

_Is that..._ Arashi came closer, careful to not make any sound as he tip-toed down the hill.

"Come on. Come _on_!" Arashi heard them say. They then threw something at the river's surface, and groaned when it sank down. "You've gotta be kidding me!"

No way. It was that Uchiha kid from before. Was he... Was he throwing rocks into the river? No, there had to be more to it than that.

The boy threw another stone, and it managed to stay afloat for a split second before sinking like the other one. "No! Stupid rock!"

Arashi was at the edge of the river's rocky shore now. Years later, he would look back on it and wonder why he did what he did. He could of just as easily walked away and shut himself inside for the rest of his life, away from everyone. But instead, Arashi bent down, picked up a stone, and threw it.

The rock skipped on the water's surface three times before it sank. Immediately, the Uchiha in front of him twisted around to face him.

Arashi regarded him with surprise. He was still shocked at his own spontaneous decision to get involved with the guy, but he managed to compose himself enough to ask, "Th-That's what you wanted to do, right?"

The other boy nodded, and Arashi had to stop himself from openly gaping. _A response?_

"How did you do that!?"

The intensity of that question made Arashi step back. "Uh... I dunno. It's pretty easy."

"... Please?" It was said so hesitantly that Arashi had to wonder if the Uchiha had ever asked anyone that in his entire life.

"I... How don't you know? I mean, I thought you were some kind of genius."

The Uchiha cringed at that. "Oh, you're from my class, right? I think I remember you now."

Arashi nodded, making the other boy grunt. "My brother's the genius of my family. He just teaches me how to do stuff sometimes. But he won't tell me what I'm doing wrong with this for some reason. He's so... _annoying_ sometimes, you know?"

He couldn't say that he did, but shrugged nonetheless. That strange feeling from before was building up in his stomach again. He hated that feeling, and he knew that it would go away if he left. But something compelled him to stay. Maybe it was the fact that he was managing to hold an actual conversation for the first time with someone who wasn't way older than him.

"Maybe you aren't throwing it hard enough..."

"I'm throwing it super hard!"

"Are you throwing it right at the water?"

"No, I know that it has to be horizonal."

"Horizontal."

"Yeah, that. Whatever, I know that already."

"You're making sure it lands on the smooth part, right?"

"..."

"... Right?"

"... Uh..."

"Are... Are you stupid?"

The Uchiha glared at him. "Hey, don't call me stupid, you... you loser!"

Arashi glared right back, more out of annoyance than actual anger. "But that's, like, the most obvious part!"

"_You're_ the most obvious part!"

"That doesn't make any sense!"

"_You_ don't make any sense!"

"Oh yeah? Try it, then!"

"I will!"

With that, the Uchiha turned around, pulled back his arm, and tossed the stone in one fluid motion, making sure to keep the smooth side on the bottom. It skipped on the river four times.

Arashi crossed his arms, watching as the Uchiha stayed frozen in a throwing position. They stood like that for a solid ten seconds before Arashi decided he didn't want to deal with the other boy anymore.

He was already halfway up the hill when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"... Home."

"Oh..." The Uchiha scratched the back of his black hair. "Well, thanks. For showing me how to do it right, I mean. I'm sorry I was a jerk."

Arashi stared at him, confused. Someone was apologizing to him?

"By the way, what's your name? Mine's Sasuke."

"I..." The feeling was stronger than it had ever been before, like he was about to explode. But it felt... good. "My name's Arashi."

For some reason, Sasuke grinned. He held out his hand, a rock grasped tightly in his fingers. "Okay, Arashi. Now that I know how to do this, I bet I can skip it more than you!"

"Y-Yeah right..."

Sasuke took off back down to the river, looking back with a smirk. "I'll prove it!"

Arashi watched him go, feeling a strange tightness in his cheeks. When he put a hand on one of them he realized he was smiling.

"Are you coming, or are you scared that I'll kick your butt!?"

Without a second thought, Arashi ran down the hill.

* * *

><p>"Minato-sama! Are you alright!?"<p>

The Yondaime stopped looking over the village, throwing his assistant a curious glance. "What? Do I look sick or something?"

Ryuka closed the door behind her with one of her feet, her hands too occupied with a monstrous stack of papers. Walking over to him, she placed the stack on his desk, eliciting from it a noisy creak.

"No, it's not that, it's just... There's something on your face."

"Huh?" Minato felt around with a hand, but found nothing strange. "What do you mean, Ryuka?"

"You're... You're actually smiling..."

Minato deadpanned. "... Seriously?"

"Are you the real Minato-sama?"

"I can smile, Ryuka."

"It looks so out of place!"

"Your image of me is rather depressing."

Ryuka was grinning now, but Minato didn't need to see that to know that she had been joking the whole time after all. "Well, you _are_ a rather depressing man, Minato-sama," she said, sitting on the edge of his desk. "So what happened? Did you finally get someone to fix your head in the Hokage Monument?"

"It could be that I'm happy because I finally found your replacement," he told her, but she merely scoffed at that. "And for your information, my head in the monument looks perfectly fine."

"It looks nothing like you, Minato-sama."

"Anyway," he said, waving his hand. "The real reason I'm... satisfied. Not happy, mind you, but satisfied-"

"Sure."

"The reason is, Arashi paid me a visit while you were gone."

"Oh? What did he want to talk about."

Minato leaned back on his seat, crossing his arms and raising his chin up in the air. "It turns out that Arashi is very interested in continuing his studies in the academy."

"Really?"

The Hokage nodded. "Yep. I don't think I've ever seen him so excited about, well, _anything_."

Ryuka frowned. "Excited? Arashi?"

"It's not like he was bouncing off the walls or anything," Minato told her, holding up a hand. "But he was very insistent. The point is, there's no need to worry anymore, Ryuka. He'll be fine."

His assistant sighed, looking dully out the window. "It's not like this fixes everything, Minato-sama."

"No, it doesn't," he agreed. "But it's better than him wanting nothing out of life. You'll see, everything'll work itself out."

"I hope you're right," Ryuka said. "For his sake, I hope you're right."

"Wow," Minato muttered, frowning at her. "And you called _me_ depressing."

Ryuka chuckled. "Speaking of depressing," she said, placing a hand on the giant stack of papers that now towered over Minato's seated form. "These need to get done by tomorrow, so good luck with that."

Minato didn't appear to show any outward reaction at that, but Ryuka could feel him tense up.

"Ryuka."

"Yes, Minato-sama?"

"I... I just realized. I hate this job. I hate it so much."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong>

**Poor Minato. Maybe the reason he sacrificed himself in canon was because he came to the conclusion that being inside a death god's belly for all eternity was still better than having to do paperwork.**

**Right from the outset of this story, I wanted to make sure, above everything else, that Arashi would not be Naruto. I figure that this is what it would've been like for everyone's favorite ramen-loving ninja if he hadn't of started pulling pranks that absolutely demanded attention. All Jinchuuriki face more or less the same struggle though, with the loneliness and whatnot, so their childhoods might be a bit too similar for your tastes. Worry not, because, as you can probably see from this chapter, they won't go down the same path.**

**Sasuke needed to be a major character, so sorry for anyone who hates him, but he's pretty much integral to this story. He won't be the same person that he was in canon, however, so stick around if you're curious as to whether or not I make him a better character.**

**As for the OC? Sorry, but it would've been boring to write Minato's scenes if he was just there wallowing around in his own pity and guilt. It's still there, obviously, but I wanted someone to at the very least distract him from it every once in a while. I think any decent person would try to make others feel better, even if that other person happens to be your boss.**

**Oh, and how could I forget? Naruto's over! The manga at least. NaruHina fans, congratulations I guess. It sucked for pretty much every other shipping, but at least you guys don't have to go on a planet-destroying rampage now. I'm more interested in knowing how the hell ninjas are still relevant in what appears to be a modern world now. I mean, there's no more war or conflict of any sort apparently, and surely all this modern technology diminishes the usefulness of ninja in both their jobs and their abilities, so what's the point? Kishi kinda dropped the ball on that one.**

**And freaking Salad? That's just hilarious.**

**By the by, I made some adjustments to the first chapter. It has more fighting and less nonsensical crap. You're welcome.**

**Next time, a bunch of people die, Arashi throws a hissy fit, Iruka realizes that teaching ain't easy, and all Hinata fans damn me to hell.**


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